Madonna Slip and Fall!

Still stinging due to a recent separation from her money, things just got worse for Vadge.

Performing in Rio Sunday, she did embarrassingly sad, tired sexy nasty stuff to a guitar. Then she tumbled for ya on the slippery stage.



Could retirement be imminent? Will Vadge soon ride off in the sunset to write more horrible children's books and perfect her fake British accent? We'll wait....

Prince is a Dullard

If you're of my generation, you may have fond memories of Prince. Sure, he’s kind of tired. Hell, he’s 50 now!

He’s not the best lyricist and his stuff can be uneven. Still...I liked the idea that he was racy and openminded.

Who knew that the person who wrote this:

Now where I come from
We don't give a damn
We do whatever we please
It ain't about no downtown
Nowhere bound
Narrow-minded drag
It's all about being free

And this:

People call me rude, I wish we were all nude
I wish there was no black and white, I wish there were no rules

Looking like that--



...is actually quite provincial.

That's the only controversy.

For shame!

Lance Armstrong Has His Butt on his Shoulders

Lance Armstrong is jittery about his participation in the next Tour, which begins in July. The cycling star has come out of "retirement" (gross) to participate.


Armstrong fears his frenemies in France might make mischief. He's probably worried they'll tamper with his samples again.

I guess he doesn't realize there are plenty of detractors right here. And I'm not talking about the Sheryl Crow fan club. Some, like George Carlin, are no longer with us. Others are very much alive.

Lance: be afraid!

Fun With Flour (Special Lohan Series, Part One)

All morning I trawled the web, coffee in hand, reading the Lindsay Lohan fur story everywhere I could.

A PETA activist dumped a bag of flour on the cracktress Friday night as she entered a Paris nightclub wearing a fur stole.

I became angry as I read one account after another. No one had published the flour pics with their stories! So frustrating!

I'm not a fan of HoHan, and her stupid-ass "colored President" comment failed to woo me.

My pressure dropped once, at long last, I located the accompanying photos.

Seeing her caked with white flour, I couldn't help but smile.

More, please.

May she be haunted by the pelts of a thousand mink.

Another Reason to Gloat

I'm not much of a gloater.

But I do detest Brad Blakeman.



He's so intent on mindlessly towing the Republican party line that he's unintentionally laughable; rendering himself ridiculous and completely useless as a panelist.

A demonic alien descending from a space ship comes to mind when I see him, and I'm reminded of "Heavens Gate."

How satisfying to think he's been at least briefly thwarted by Obama's victory.

A Valuable Lesson From Oprah

Everyone loves Oprah. Her accomplishments are legion.

Though I've seen some magazine covers in which she looked frighteningly like Star Jones, I almost believe she hasn't had plastic surgery.

And I know the pleasures of daytime television.

But Oprah is annoying as hell. Patronizing. Ingratiating. A trifle santimonious; interacting with her audience as if they're a bit dense. Are they? Isn't she?

At long last, a valuable lesson. Beware! Anyone can screw up at the polls. Even Oprah.