Lance Armstrong Has His Butt on his Shoulders

Lance Armstrong is jittery about his participation in the next Tour, which begins in July. The cycling star has come out of "retirement" (gross) to participate.


Armstrong fears his frenemies in France might make mischief. He's probably worried they'll tamper with his samples again.

I guess he doesn't realize there are plenty of detractors right here. And I'm not talking about the Sheryl Crow fan club. Some, like George Carlin, are no longer with us. Others are very much alive.

Lance: be afraid!