Sunday, February 1, 2009

Kenny and Renee: What in the Hell Happened?

It was in the Spring of 2008 that I first wrote about the puzzling, brief marriage of Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger. I'm amazed at how many share my curiosity, even after all this time. So, what do you think? What happened between Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellwegger? Feel free to share your ideas with a comment. What happened? And more importantly, why do we care?


It's in the news again. And I'm still bedeviled by this unquenchable need to know. I'm talking about the breakup of country music singer Kenny Chesney and actress Renee Zellwegger.

Its been several years. The hope was I had left my obsession behind. The late nights on my computer spent toiling. Toiling, sweating, and searching. Searching night after night, month after month, for any shred, any tiny morsel of information on the cause of their separation.

I could have told you their wedding photos didn't bode well. The happy couple seemed strangely awkward and ill at ease. As if the marriage were a sham, or they had serious misgivings.
Kenny & Renee Get Married Pictures, Images and Photos
Let's review, because memories fade: Renee Zellweger met Kenny Chesney in January 2005. After only a few months of dating, they got married. A mere four months into the marriage, Zellweger cited "fraud" and filed for an annullment.

My inability to know what happened, and the deafening silence surrounding the reasons for their breakup, has mightily tormented me for the last 3 years.

I've heard he's extremely obsessive about his laundry. I've heard the rumors he's gay, and he may well be, but I'm sure she had heard them, too.

Finally, in July 2008, I read a story implying that Chesney's cheating on Zellweger with a groupie was the "reason" for the dissolution of their marriage. The gender of the groupie was not specified.

Now, today's Huffington Post reports Chesney has a new album release ("Lucky Old Sun"); written post-breakup. Apparently the divorce provided Chesney with plenty of songwriting fodder.

Folks, I know this is none of my business, but Chesney is more of an enigma than Michael Stipe.

The fact that there isn't some simplistic reason, true or false, trumpeted by their publicists, blindly parroted by the press, is beyond maddening. I'm in need of some help here.

What in the hell happened?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Madonna's Mad Again

The Great Pretender feigns annoyance at the recent release of nasty photos!

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In other news, Vadge spends weekend at Seinfeld's house! Rodriguez was there! Again! Boring! What good can come of this tawdry coupling? We'll wait....

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Reunited and it Feels So Good

Horehand was back with her Smiler last night.

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Sam doesn't look all angry and jealous yet; things must be good. She'll never be able to control Horehand, so she'll never be happy with her. Such is life.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Been Caught Stealing: Crackie Wants Your Liquor

The Crackie of Camden continues a dubious recovery process while on holiday in St. Lucia. She's been spotted stealing abandoned drinks and guzzling the backwash left behind in other guests' drinking glasses.
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“She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest,” says a source.

That's addiction, folks!

Monday, January 12, 2009

When Clothes Attack Zellweger

Take a deep breath, because this will be painful: the sight of Renee last night. "Sheer disaster"and "Worst dressed" are not how a star hopes to be remembered on the red carpet. And Renee Zellweger's calamitous appearance at the Golden Globes just brings it all back, doesn't it. You know what I'm talking about. The torture of not knowing. The lack of closure.
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Gripped by yet another night of insomnia, tossing, turning, wondering, "What in the hell happened between Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger?" But there are no answers. A short-lived marriage, mysteriously annulled.

A statement released by the couple in September of 2005 served only to taunt, not clarify: "the miscommunication of the objective of their marriage at the start is the only reason for this annulment. Renée and Kenny value and respect each other and are saddened that their different objectives prevent the success of this marriage." How odd to speak of "objectives." Perhaps one day we will know.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Brangelina Rebuke Gaycrest

Ryan Secrest squawked three years ago when he thought he'd been snubbed by Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes. He foolishly flapped his lips all over God's creation telling the story.
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So it should come as no surprise that his feathers have been pulled again. The perpetrators of the slight in 2006 (I originally thought 2007?), Brangelina, cruelly and pointedly shunned him once more at today's Golden Globes. He evokes in me a mixture of annoyance, pity, and a strange desire to scatter chicken feed on the ground. Feel better, Gaycrest! He obviously learned nothing.